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Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Broken-Hearted Friend

Bad breakups may be a common subject of some jokes and memes, but for the person who has just been dumped, it’s no laughing matter at all. How do you not say the wrong things to a friend who just had their heart broken? Comforting the person is not easy, and it’s tempting to say things that you think might help make the situation better, but are in fact not helpful at all.

Remember not to say these things to someone who had a bad breakup or who has just been dumped.

“It will get better in time.”

Yes, it will, but you don’t need to remind the person about it. He/she already knows that, but the pain is still fresh. Getting your heart broken is just like seeing your sports team lose in the finals, the pain will stay for a while. Let him/her cry about it, it will help.

“You deserve someone better.”

While this might be true, the person doesn’t need to hear it. Let your friend heal at the his/her own pace, because we all deal with pain differently. There will be a time to make jokes about it later, but not while the pain is still fresh.

“You need to get over it or forget it.”

How? Your friend cannot start the healing process if you’re expecting it’s easy to forget someone who has been a part of their life. The pain will not go away immediately, that is why you should be there for him/her throughout the process.

“That person wasn’t great anyway.”

The person doesn’t need to hear that he/she has been wasting time on someone who doesn’t deserve that love. You don’t know what problems they’ve been through and what they felt for each other, no matter how close you are to your friend.

“There are other people out there.”

Yes, obviously, but people tend to make bad decisions when they’re emotionally vulnerable. Taking your friend for a drink or a date with a stranger might lead to embarrassing or disastrous situations.

“I knew you’d break up.”

How did you know? You were not part of their relationship, no matter how close you claim you are with your friend. Whatever their problems were, it was between the two of them and you’re an outsider.

“Find someone else to forget him/her.”

Your friend will find that someone special eventually, but let him/her heal at his/her own pace. It is not easy forget someone whom you thought was the one for you. Even you will have a hard time, and you wouldn’t want to hear such a comment from anyone.

“Think of all the good times you had instead.”

Don’t you think your friend is already doing that? Of course, your friend will be thinking about their moments together, that’s a normal part of the healing process.

“Let’s have a drink.”

Alcohol can impair judgement. You wouldn’t want your friend in an accident or start an unhealthy dependency on drinks to forget the pain.